The Frugal Wizard's Handbook for Surviving Medieval England (in-world)
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|The Frugal Wizard's Handbook|
for Surviving Medieval England
|Author||Cecil G. Bagsworth III|
|Featured In||The Frugal Wizard's Handbook for Surviving Medieval England|
Runian obtained a copy of the fourth edition of The Frugal Wizard's Handbook for Surviving Medieval England and took it with him through a dimensional portal. Upon arriving in medieval England, the handbook exploded, the pages blowing into a nearby town. One of the pages was offered to wights, but John stole back the offering. Eventually, the pages were gathered and returned to John, who then re-sorted them.
The main text of the handbook mostly consists of overview information, details about the services offered by Frugal Wizard Inc., and excerpts from Bagsworth's other books about what it is like to be an interdimensional wizard.
Your Own Dimension
This chapter gives some brief history and introduction of Frugal Wizard Inc.
You Are a Wizard
The handbook quotes My Lives: an Autobiography of Cecil G. Bagsworth III, The First Interdimensional Wizard. Bagsworth reflects on his early experiences as an interdimensional wizard and explains the role of timing in achievements.
Our Fantastic Packages
Frugal Wizard Inc. offers five packages:
- Discount dimensions that do not meet their usual guarantees
- Wizard Wildcard dimensions with details kept secret
- Dimensions where customers choose the time period
- Luxury experiences where customers choose a certain specific feature from a list
- Total Wizard package with the perks of the luxury experience plus additional add-ons
How to Be a Wizard
The handbook quotes another Bagsworth book, The Truth of Truth: A Call to Adventure. Bagsworth explains how the reader can impress medieval people with their modern knowledge and technology.
(New!) Better Than True Life™ Experiences
The handbook gives an overview of four different dimension sports that Frugal Wizard Inc. hosts:
- Classic Conquest: Players compete to take control of land
- Capture the Castle: A variation of Capture the Flag
- Game of Homes: Players start with no resources and race to become monarchs
- Augmented Insanity: A war game with random modern weapons
The Wizard's Burden
The handbook again quotes My Lives: an Autobiography of Cecil G. Bagsworth III, The First Interdimensional Wizard. Bagsworth explains that interdimensional wizard life is fulfilling, but can also be lonely.
The FAQ mostly focuses on the mechanics, limitations, and ethics of interdimensional travel.
FAQ: Have I Time Traveled?
Medieval dimension are not actually in the past. Instead, that dimension has lagged behind in its progression, similar to Nebraska.
FAQ: Why Do Some Things about My Dimension Contradict the Historical Record?
Dimensions that more closely resemble historical record are reserved by the government. Frugal Wizard Inc. only sells "Earth-lite" dimensions with more deviation.
FAQ: What Can I Expect from My Dimension?
Frugal Wizard Inc. has access to a certain band of medieval dimensions. They randomly open portals in that band and check them for three guarantees: the dimension roughly represents the right periods, the language is close to modern English, and they are not affected by a pandemic.
FAQ: Can I Have a Dimension Full of Talking Bananas?
This section simply answers, "No."
FAQ: All Right, WHY Can't I Have a Dimension Full of Talking Bananas?
Every dimension Frugal Wizard Inc. accesses is theorized to share their history until a branching point. The branching event that would cause talking bananas to exist is so improbable that such dimensions are unlikely to be found through their random portals even if they theoretically exist.
FAQ: How Can I Be Certain My Personal Wizard Dimension™ Won't be Corrupted by Other Visitors?
After randomly opening a portal, Frugal Wizard Inc. activates a dimensional beacon that ties that dimension to theirs through a quantum key.
FAQ: Can I Transfer Things Between Dimensions?
Anything can be brought downstream to the purchased dimension, but nothing can be brought back upstream. Dimensions more than one portal downstream are unstable.
FAQ: Why Does Everyone in Britain Speak Modern English in My Pre-Norman-Conquest Dimension? Shouldn't That Require an Incredible Alignment of Social and Linguistic Factors That Would Never in a Million Years Align in Such a Convenient Way?
The handbook simply hangs a lampshade on the question.
FAQ: Wait. Did I Just Do a Colonialism?
The handbook dodges the question by claiming sensitivity, discouraging travel to the Americas and to Africa, and promoting their Unstated Ethnicity Savior Packages
FAQ: What If I'm Still Worried about the Ethics of Essentially Colonizing the British Isles, Influencing the Course of History for an Entire People?
The handbook claims the laws of their dimension have no bearing on other dimensions, and leaves it to the reader's conscience to decide what is ethical.
FAQ: What If I Don't Like My Dimension? Are Refunds Available?
Refunds are not available.
Other Referenced Content
- "FAQ: Can You Recommend a Therapist to Help Me Cope with the Existential Dread Caused by the Realization That My Reality Might Be Just an Offshoot of Another Dimension with More Substance Than Ours?"
- A questionnaire near the back of the handbook contains a list of printed questions with blanks where readers are meant to write their own answers. This is to assist in restoring memories that might be lost when going through a dimensional portal. Two of the questions include "What is your name?" and "What was your profession before you became an interdimensional wizard?"
- Details about 30 different bonus add-ons for the Total Wizard package
- Section Four: The Boring Science Stuff. Chapter 17 of this section is titled "Dimensional Travel in Brief"
- "FAQ: How Can I Be Certain My Personal Wizard Dimension™ Won't Be Corrupted By Other Visitors?" from The Frugal Wizard's Handbook for Surviving Medieval England#
- The Frugal Wizard's Handbook for Surviving Medieval England chapter 1#
- The Frugal Wizard's Handbook for Surviving Medieval England chapter 2#
- The Frugal Wizard's Handbook for Surviving Medieval England chapter 8#
- "FAQ: Can I Transfer Things Between Dimensions?" from The Frugal Wizard's Handbook for Surviving Medieval England#
- "Our Fantastic Packages!" from The Frugal Wizard's Handbook for Surviving Medieval England#
- "How Can I Be Certain My Personal Wizard Dimension™ Won't be Corrupted by Other Visitors?" from The Frugal Wizard's Handbook for Surviving Medieval England#
|The Frugal Wizard's Handbook for Surviving Medieval England|
|Characters||Runian · Sefawynn · Ealstan · Ulric Stromfin · Quinn Jericho · Ryan Chu · Logna|
|Places||Stenford · Wellbury · Maelport|