”I only tell stories, Your Grace. They may be truths, they may be fictions. All I know is that the stories themselves exist and that I must tell them.
”I learned it many, many years ago from a man who didn't know who he was, Your Majesty. It was a distant place where two lands meet and gods have died.—Hoid to Siri on where he learned his particular method of storytelling
”The foolishness of men who care, Dalinar, and the brilliance of those who do not. The second depend on the first—but also exploit the first—while the first misunderstand the second, hoping that the second are more like the first. And all of their games steal our time. Second by second.
Nonsense. Balderdash. Figgldygrak. Isn't it odd that gibberish words are often the sounds of other words, cut up and dismembered, then stitched into something like them—yet wholly unlike them at the same time?
I wonder if you could do that to a man. Pull him apart, emotion by emotion, bit by bit, bloody chunk by bloody chunk. Then combine them back together into something else, like a Dysian Aimian. If you do put a man together like that, Dalinar, be sure to name him Gibberish, after me. Or perhaps Gibletish.
”—Hoid to Dalinar (after namedropping Adonalsium)
”I've abandoned my real name. But when next we meet, I'll think of a clever one for you to call me. Until then, Wit will suffice—or if you must, you may call me Hoid.—Hoid to Dalinar
I began life as a thought, a concept, words on a page. That was another thing I stole. Myself. Another time, I was named for a rock."
"A pretty one, I hope."
"A beautiful one," the man said. "And one that became completely worthless for my wearing it.
What you saw belongs to you. A story doesn't live until it is imagined in someone's mind."
"What does the story mean, then?"
"It means what you want it to mean. The purpose of a storyteller is not to tell you how to think, but to give you questions to think upon. Too often, we forget that.
”—Hoid to Kaladin on stories
”People see in stories what they're looking for, my young friend. I have no answers for you. Most days, I feel I never have had any answers. I've come to your land to chase an old acquaintance, but I end up spending most of my time hiding from him instead.—Hoid to Kaladin
”Can you feel it? Something just changed. I believe that's the sound the world makes when it pisses itself
”What is it we value? Innovation. Originality. Novelty. But most importantly...timeliness. I fear you may be too late, my confused, unfortunate, friend.
”You must not trust yourself with me. If I have to watch this world crumble and burn to get what I need, I will do so. With tears, yes, but I would let it happen.—Hoid (as Wit) to Dalinar
”Accept the pain, but do not accept that you deserved it.—Hoid (as Wit) to Shallan
”How remarkable, [if] you spend your life knocking people down, you eventually find they won't stand up for you. There’s poetry in that, don’t you think, you storming personification of a cancerous anal discharge?
”Deal with your own stupid planet, you idiot. Don't make me come over there and slap you around again.